Though it’s mostly unconscious, many people have a strange affinity for feeling rejected, abandoned, and unloved. Yes, this idea flies in the face of common sense. Who would want to bear the pain of feeling unloved any more than what life might force upon us?
Our psyche is an inner realm that, like the outer cosmos, doesn’t always adhere to the etiquette of common sense. If we’re willing to investigate all the nooks and crannies of our psyche, we come across some startling truths that defy common sense.
Our affinity for feeling unloved is one of these truths. Feeling unloved is familiar to many of us. We can easily get used to that feeling. Sometimes it even defines us. We won’t know ourselves or recognize ourselves without this old hurt. We can easily identify with ourselves as victims of rejection and other forms of cruelty or unfairness inflicted upon us.
In fact, there is evidence that we can even begin to indulge in these negative feelings. Sometimes the feeling arises in the familiarity of bittersweet self-pity. We can’t climb out of the pits of “poor little me.” It’s as if we’re determined to be loyal to our suffering self, or that we don’t know any other way of being. If so, we drag ourselves down into unhappiness, depression, and ill health when we cling to this false (yet emotionally powerful) impression of who we are. [Read more…]