When marital conflict leads to divorce, conflict in the human psyche is the culprit, not the institution of marriage. Many people are too conflicted and divided in their psyche to maintain the union of a loving relationship.
Rather than examine ourselves, many of us elect to betray love and skip town. We forsake our partner because we can’t stomach our own bile. We simply refuse to approach the unconscious part of us that harbors and cultivates the negative emotions that feed marital unhappiness. Through resistance and denial, we prefer to avoid the disturbing idea that we’re the architects of our own suffering. It’s just so easy to blame our tribulations on the annoying characteristics of our partner—or on faulty genes, biochemical imbalances, the malice of others, or the cold, cruel world.
In some cases, getting a divorce is the sensible thing to do. For various reasons, some feuding couples are too unlikely to re-establish harmony and love. Of course, many other marriages can be saved. Intimacy and love can be restored and enhanced if we look deeper into our personal issues. [Read more…]