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FREEDOM FROM SELF-SABOTAGE
Just about every one of us has a story of woe, a personal drama of being defeated by our situations in life and even by our own miscalculations or foolishness. It can feel as if some invisible saboteur lurks behind our defeat and failure.
Freedom From Self-Sabotage is a powerful book that exposes that inner saboteur. Convincing evidence reveals that the saboteur exists because of our unrecognized compulsion to experience and recycle unresolved negative emotions. This book shows how we resist and reject the positive, how we collude in creating our problems, and how we cover up awareness of these hidden dynamics through our defense system.
The paperback version of this book is the 1999 First Edition (Prospect Books Quality Paperback, 218 pages). The PDF file available here is the 2011 Second Edition. The Second Edition adds new material and updates the author’s understanding of the varied psychodynamic mechanisms of self-sabotage.
Why We Suffer
This is the author’s most recent title, and the one that takes his psychological understanding to its deepest level yet. It has not yet been published as a printed book, but is available at this time as a PDF file. It is also available as an e-book at both Amazon and Barnes and Noble, where excerpts are available. (Search “Michaelson Why We Suffer”)
Why We Suffer brings into clear focus the existence of a hidden flaw in our psyche. This flaw is a grave danger to each of us personally and to all of us collectively. Through our defense system, we cover up awareness of this inner problem.
This flaw in our human nature gets the best of us only if we fail to become conscious of it. When we expose this inner condition, we are beginning to eliminate or eradicate it. When it no longer contaminates our inner life, we feel, just for starters, our goodness and our value more acutely, as we are more respectful of the goodness and value of others.
(In its digital format, the book is 581 pages, about 75,000 words.)
The Phantom of the Psyche
Inner passivity, a common characteristic of the human psyche, distorts our sense of self and binds us to a second-hand experience of ourself.
This psychological condition, which affects men and women equally, is much more than just our difficulty in standing up for our rights. It is a complex and mysterious aspect of our psyche, concealed beneath our feelings of being helpless, overwhelmed, and indecisive.
Inner passivity contributes to feelings of being defective or unworthy, and it is a factor in hundreds of symptoms, including anxiety, fear, anger, addictions, compulsions, procrastination, panic attacks, and depression.
The primary conflict in our psyche is between inner passivity and inner aggression. When we’re entangled in inner passivity, we represent ourselves in a feeble manner on both an inner level (in terms of standing up to our inner critic) and on an outer level in our dealings with others. Our growing awareness of this conflict produces inner freedom, enhanced self-confidence, peace of mind, and happiness.
(Prospect Books Quality Paperback, 2002. 242 pages.)
Genes and brain chemistry may be factors in addictions and compulsions—but so are negative emotions. Everyone has unresolved negative emotions from their past, and for some of us these emotions are very problematic.
We are unconsciously determined to go on experiencing these emotions. Hence, they constitute unconscious or secret attachments, meaning they are like emotional addictions. These emotional addictions generate painful feelings that can take the form of self-rejection, self-condemnation, and even self-hatred. These negative emotions weaken us and undermine our capacity for self-regulation.
Understand the mind and emotions of addictive personalities: Why do they deny the seriousness of the problem?; Why aren’t they sensitive to the consequences of their behaviors?; Why do they find their addictive behaviors so hard to change? Secret Attachments delivers the keys to recovery through a powerful new awareness of the nature of out-of-control behaviors with food, drugs, alcohol, sex, and gambling.
(Prospect Books Quality Paperback, 1993. 210 pages.)
See Your Way to Self Esteem
More than we realize, our emotions determine how we see, what we see, and what we do not see. If we are bored, we see with eyes that are listless and dull; if we are angry, we see things to be angry about; if we are envious, we see what fuels our feelings of envy.
To grow and be happy, we need to make these visual tendencies more conscious. We are astonished to discover how determined we can be to see and to imagine situations that reproduce old, unresolved negative emotions from our past.
When we understand our visual nature, we realize that, instead of seeing and appreciating another person, we may instead be “seeing” how we think that person is seeing us. We are entangled emotionally in what others are thinking and feeling as they look back at us. The faces of others become mirrors in which we see ourself, as determined by our unconscious willingness to hold on to a negative self-concept. See Your Way to Self-Esteem outlines a therapeutic approach that attacks the root causes of negative and self-defeating beliefs and feelings.
(Prospect Books Quality Paperback, 212 pages.)
This book demonstrates through theory, examples, and exercises how our unconscious interpretations and beliefs affect our relationships. We see how we are aligned with being an innocent victim, thus making our partner, loved ones, and friends largely responsible for our feelings and behaviors.
More specific topics include: why we choose our partner; the meaning of the begging-bowl syndrome; the origins of control issues and what we can do about them; the clear difference between genuine love and addictive attachments; how sexual issues reflect our emotional conflicts; the tendency to repeat compulsively self-sabotaging patterns of behavior; the illusion of reforming our partner; and how to take responsibility for ourselves.
Chapters include: The Emotional War-Zone–Power in Relationships; The Compulsion to Control; Self-Centeredness, a Hidden Relationship Problem; Our Fascination with Rejection; Rapture, Romance, and Reality; Intimacy and How We Sabotage It; and Perspectives in the Gender Gap.
(Prospect Books Quality Paperback, 1999. 294 pages.)
Is Anyone Listening?
Discover the dozens of ways we block communication and what we can do to change these unconscious ineffective patterns. This book is designed to help readers see and understand communication patterns. It gives you tools that help you overcome the fear of expressing yourself honestly and directly.
This book also reveals rules and insights that guide you in communicating more successfully with your partner, as well as with friends, family members, and even strangers. The essence of this book’s communication program involves learning how to feel genuine interest, as well as compassion, without being judgmental or reactive.
Discover insight into our instinctive readiness to act defensively and inappropriately with our partner. Learn why defensive reactions are so common, and what they reveal about our issues on a deeper level. Resolve once and for all the fear that arises when it’s time to be honest with ourselves and our partner.
(Prospect Books Quality Paperback, 1999. 154 pages.)
The Emotional Catering Service
The Emotional Catering Service describes what is commonly known as codependency. This book takes a totally new approach by uncovering powerful emotional attachments lurking in the psyche of codependents. These are attachments to feelings of self-doubt, self-denial, self-deprival, self-rejection, as well as abandonment and control.
What is the real reason intimacy is so threatening? This book shows us how we are unconsciously drawn to those individuals who appear to give us the same hurt, neglect, and disappointment we experienced in our childhood. This subconscious willingness to repeat old patterns and experience old emotions is the real reason caterers cling to unsatisfactory relationships.
You will learn: How to appreciate yourself for who you are rather than for what you do; How not to take things personally; How to dissipate feelings of anger, dissatisfaction, and despair; New ways to develop intimacy and express love without fear of rejection; How to assert yourself when appropriate, think independently, and express your rights and feelings without fear; The ability to define clearly what you want and to live by your own inner voice.
(Prospect Books Quality Paperback, 1993. 264 pages.)